Thank You 2017

2017 – one of the toughest years of my life so far, goodbye. Thank you for stretching me to my limits and making me a much much much stronger person than I ever envisioned myself to be. In a year where almost everyone around me was adapting to an entirely new environment with unfamiliar faces, having their new beginnings, I learnt to adapt to the same old environment with fresh new faces- I repeated my year 2 in Junior College.

In this fleeting year, I felt myself transition from a vulnerable and fragile kid to a strong and unwavering soul. Setbacks used to dishearten me and failures was what I determined myself by, but in this year, I decided to view every setback as a chance to experiment on how to improve, how to better myself. From every failure I told myself “It’s alright. As long as I don’t give up, this will not be permanent.”

When exam fears and anxiety creeped in, I learnt to breathe and take things as they come. One particular quote that saved my life goes like this

“I will breathe. I will think of solutions. I will not let my worry control me. I will not let my stress level break me. I will simply breathe and it will be okay. Because I don’t quit.”

I learnt to take things at my own pace and not compare mine with that of others, because from the moment we were born, to the day we die, we die as a single person. We were born to live life the way we choose to live it- there are no instructions nor is there the right way to live it. In this time we live in, kids are constantly told “you need to do well in school to succeed in life. Also, if you can, go for the fastest route. If you fail, you’re just probably not trying hard enough”. Therefore, from a young age, at least for me, I studied hard , and studied harder as I grow older. I always thought “I should take the fastest route and succeed in the shortest amount of time”. As a result, when I repeated, I was lost. Adults always expect the best from the kids and what they fail to realise is that some kids, very fortunately, are gifted with talents and are able to advance to higher education levels in a shorter amount of time, but not all are lucky, and others need to go the extra mile to try to match the pace of these talented kids. As such, when I failed to succeed in the shortest amount of time like I intended to, I told myself “since you are already a year behind your friends, you got to make your dream career your destination, however tough it may be, because taking longer would not matter as long as your final destination is what you had in mind”. Point is- there is no single way to live our lives,we do not have to live the way others expect us to live, instead we live making choices that allow us to keep going and progressing, and never give up because only after each hurdle we surpass are we stronger and better equipped for greater challenges in the future.

When the challenges seem insurmountable and the journey feels arduous, I learnt to be my own hero and gave myself the positive pep talk and encouragement. I seeked help from professionals and elders who have seen more of the world to better cope with my workload. I confronted my darkest thoughts and struggled lots, and eventually won the mental struggles.

Of all, I learnt that when one method does not work, change it. When you fail to reach your goal, change your plan, not your goal. I learnt never to give up on my dreams and keep trying and trying. A win won’t be satisfying without a fight, and the more challenging the fight is, the greater the satisfaction that comes after.

As I finally move on to the next phase of my life, I am feeling rather hopeful and thrilled to take on whatever 2018 has in store for me. Here I shall end off with- 2018, bring it on!! 😁💪

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Confession

Hello my friends,
Here’s me trying to revive my very much dead blog! How have you guys been? I hope all has been well while I was away. Today I’ll be going into a topic that is held rather close to my heart at the moment. Confession. Or more specifically, a declaration of adoration. Whether you are the one being confessed to, or the one confessing, I was wondering…. how would you be feeling?

I won’t even try to deny and say that I hadn’t had my fair share of experience confessing and getting confessed to, in fact I have experienced the latter recently, which obviously explains why I’m here, ferociously typing away on my keyboard on this subject. As someone who have confessed before, I had been rejected upfront, and also been led on and hurt time and again. This led to my belief that rejecting upfront is always the best option, so as to not waste the time and effort of the other party. They deserve so much more than someone who will never reciprocate to their feelings, given that we, the party being confessed to, have decided that we will never be able to feel the same to the party who confessed.

But then again, also being someone who has made advances towards my special friend despite the flat out rejections, I was just wondering…how much can these people being confessed to take before totally cutting themselves out from our lives? If, after being so straightforwardly rejected time and again, we still do not understand that our special friend is off limits and never will be the partner our heart yearns so much for, our so called “love” will no doubt become a burden to these people who can’t accept our special feelings. Should we spare a thought for these people, they are also undeserving of the burden they carry as a result of our unrequited love, because ultimately, we are the ones who fell for them.

Before I continue, I’d just like to say that I’m in no way blaming anyone for falling in love with someone, because loving someone should never be wrong. In fact, I think that it is an honour for someone to think so highly of us and think that we are worthy of their love. But it should never an obligation for the other party to return those feelings. Most importantly, to the ones being rejected, you should never (I repeat , NEVER) feel like you are insufficient or unworthy. In my opinion, the society has a very twisted perception of beauty- to be a pretty girl, you have to have huge eyes with long lashes, perfectly thick brows, high nose or at least a cute button nose, with luscious lips, flat belly, HUMONGOUS boobs and butt and slim legs. To be a handsome guy, you have to have thick brows, perfectly toned body, not too muscular or skinny. But in our individual eyes, “pretty” and “handsome” could hold its own set of meanings. People we view as divinely attractive may not even be the slightest bit attractive to others. As such, we should never put ourselves down even after a rejection, because our most beautiful traits that these special friends will never see could possibly be noticed by others who will cherish them in future.

Thinking back, it seems that flat out rejections are always a wake up reminder to tell us to stay strong and move on. To me, these type of rejections are always the best because despite being hurt, and crying ourselves to sleep for some nights, we are clear about where we stand in the heart of the other party and will never make advances ,which tends backfire and hurt us later, again. Thus, to the one who once gave me such a reply, I am thankful. It was never fun thinking about the past and getting reminded about all those times someone led us on, tricking us into believing that we could actually hold a special place in their heart, when we clearly had no chance of winning the person’s heart over. It was a never-ending emotional roller coaster which ultimately lead me back to square one. I never wish that upon anyone.

To my friends who have ever been rejected, perhaps it is time we let go and dive into the ocean to find a fish that would stay for us, instead of choking the fish in hand with our iron grip, for “there are plenty of fishes in the sea”. The ocean, being so wide, I’m certain we’ll find a partner that would stay and brave through the hurricanes with us. But till then, always have an open mind and accepting heart, and don’t be afraid to love again in future.

18 lessons learnt at 18

1. Always give in your best because then if you fail, you would have failed while trying and have no regrets.

2. Always see the best in others, even when it is hard. Everyone has something they have gone through in life that makes them become the person they are today and we should never judge their personality solely on what we see. Believe that no matter how bad and undesirable some people appear to be, there will always be some good in them.

3. Always choose to be happy. Life is too short to be unhappy. Choose to focus on the little blissful moments so as to live a fulfilling life.

4. Always appreciate. Appreciating others shows them how much they mean to you and most of the time, you’d in turn be greatly appreciated as well!

5. Always believe in yourself. As cliche as it sounds, you are the sperm that won the race among 250 million other sperms! Trust that everything you need is within you and trust that you are strong enough for all the challenges in life, because you are born to withstand all of these challenges to emerge victorious.

6. Always have courage. Have the courage to pick up whatever you like and make the most out of life now because if not now, then when?

7. Always live in the moment. Once again, life is too short to be spent generously on reminiscing the past or looking ahead to the future. Don’t forget to live in the moment every now and then, because then you won’t have to constantly look back on these memories, wishing you’d known to cherish these blissful moments.

8. Always start with a single step when you’re lost. No matter how dire a situation you may be in, situations change with time. Therefore, believe in yourself and believe in time and make small steps to change your plight. You’ll see that things are not as tough as they seem to be.

9. Always try to be understanding. Everyone has their own issues to deal with. Since being understanding can make days a little brighter and lives a little happier , why not?

10. When stuck between work and health, always pick health. Work provides you with money to spend but without a good health, you won’t be able to spend those cash.

11. Don’t compare your life with others. As happy as others seem to be, life is never full of just ups. No one is ever happy throughout their entire lifetime. Everyone goes through a truckload of obstacles in life, some just hide these issues better than others.

12. Time heals everything. Emotions may be unbearable at times, but give time some time and those emotional wounds will heal.

13. Always be humble. Being humble at your peak makes life easier for you post-peak and keeps genuine people by your side.

14. Family is everything. Friends come and go but since family are related to us by blood, they are the only constant in our lives, from the moment we are born to the moment we die. They are whom we have to learn to treasure and whom we stick with through thick and thin.

15. Fall in love with personalities, not looks. Good looks don’t last, great personalities do.

16. Certificates of qualifications are important, but they’re not everything. Kudos to you if you have those, but life will not end without them.


17. Always smile. Smiling makes people around you feel happy to see you. Plus, smiling also reduces stress !! (http://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2012/07/study-forcing-a-smile-genuinely-decreases-stress/260513/)

18. Don’t brood over issues with no solutions. If you can’t find a solution to the problem, let time pass and soon enough, a solution will spring up!